Today we lost my cousin Bev in England to cancer. It was only one short month ago that she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Within days she was in a hospice and now she is gone. As I read through the hundreds of messages on Facebook, the words “gutted”, “speechless”, “at a loss”, “shocked” are repeated over and over. None of us can really believe it and yet it is really so.
I am someone who does not have too many memories of my childhood; I don’t know why that is so, it just is. One of the memories I have that is perfectly clear is the day that Bev was born. She is much younger than I am and so that day is a much clearer memory than most. I was in the back yard (the garden to all those in England) hanging laundry on the line for my Mom. A man came to the back gate and said he had a telegram for my Mom. He handed it to me and then was gone. For you younger folk, this is how we received news from abroad back in the day. The telegram simply said:
It’s a girl. Both fine. Love, Alec
Alec was Bev’s Dad. The message was short and the number of words were kept short as you were charged by the word back then. I was going through some old albums the other day and found the telegram. Funny, the things we keep, isn’t it?
The word I have always used to describe my cousin is lovely. For me it’s a perfect description of Bev. She was beautiful, inside and out. She was kind, bright, quick-witted, funny, and loved her family fiercely. Over the years, we have only visited each other perhaps seven or eight times back and forth “across the pond” as my Mom used to say, but there was a bond for sure. I have always felt close to her and perhaps that is because her Mum and my Mom were close. She called my Mom Auntie Lena, both when she was young and as an adult. Some of the time of our visits were taken up with sightseeing as we had the opportunity to show each other our cities but also with lots of chats, laughter and love. I attended her and Gary’s wedding and she came for one of mine (yes, there are several). I have always felt as close to Bev as to any of my relatives who are here in Canada. I will miss her terribly even though our visits were far and few between.
Bev and her family were a wonderful family unit. It was always obvious that even as the boys grew to adulthood, they all enjoyed each other’s company so much. They travelled the world – literally. As a family they saw and enjoyed so many different countries, cultures, habits, food and people. They created so many incredible memories that will fill the hearts of Gary, Jack and Ben when they are able to get past this terrible shock. The love in that family was a pleasure and an inspiration to see and is a model for all.
I don’t know how much I know about what comes after we leave this life but I like to think that Bev is again with her Mum and Dad that she loved so dearly. Rest well, my lovely cousin
