I’m an American Idol fan and after I typed this title, I realized that it sounded like the title of an American Idol episode. Oh, if that were only true.
First an update on my hair. My hair is growing such that almost all of my head is covered now. My daughter was sitting behind me in the car and said, “Mom, you need a haircut”. This seemed like such a ridiculous statement but it was indeed true. Because the hair is not growing evenly, it sticks out in many places and looks strange – well there are two spots at the back that I think look like horns. All these little details that mean so much from day to day are things that you just don’t think about when you think about having cancer. Anyway, off I went to the hairdresser’s. It was nice to see her after such a long time and she evened and trimmed and made me look presentable. I’m still not really comfortable in public about my hair but it’s getting better. I’ve always had pretty short hair but I think that I will keep it very short from here on in as I’m really enjoying doing nothing after I shower and shampoo. You just dry and go! Not only that, Vic says he likes it. I’m hoping he’s not just trying to make me feel better and he says he’s not, so I hope that’s true.
So, back to results week. If you remember, this week I get the results of my bicep injury, my hand, my update from the social worker and a sign off (I think) from the radiation oncologist.
The doctor that looked at my upper arm told me that I have indeed injured my bicep muscle. The thing is, there is surgery if it’s near the elbow, surgery if it’s near the shoulder, but not if it’s in the middle of the two. It will heal on its own over time. This was a relief as the doctor in urgent care scared me with surgery talk. One down.
The orthopaedic doctor who looked at my hand told me that there is a surgery to ease the pain I have around my thumb. For now I will use topicals and think about that down the road. All the doctors reinforce that I must keep an eye on my hand for the return of cellulitis. So far, so good.
The social worker was most sympathetic about all my woes. We had a good talk and she had some great suggestions regarding ongoing self care. I’m going to look into some sort of exercise as that is good for everything. She has determined that I am healthy enough that we don’t need to meet again and that’s a good thing.
The radiation oncologist has released me from his care as I seem to be recovering well from radiation side effects. My skin is healing slowly, but it is healing. I still feel very tired and fatigued but he assures me that this is no longer from radiation. I feel that it is probably a cumulative effect of all the trauma and treatment and am hoping that exercise and time will help. I am still under the care of my original oncologist and will be for the next five years but I am no longer a patient of the radiation oncologist.
I spent a week stewing and worrying about the results of my hip and leg x rays. For starters, after the initial x ray they asked me to wait in the waiting room while they spoke with my oncologist to see if she wanted more. That’s all I needed to go to a dark place and convince myself that it is bone cancer. Really, it takes so little to go to this place. The technician who was doing my x rays was wonderful and assured me not to worry any more than I was when I came in; that they just wanted to be sure they had what she needed. Up, down, up down! The next day the oncologist called to tell me that the pain was caused by arthritis, not cancer related and to see my family doctor.
I have now seen my family doctor and I am being referred to the joint assessment centre. They will decide next steps. They might include injections, physiotherapy, or hip replacement. I have to learn to take one step at a time and not project. It’s not healthy and I know it.
So there is lots of good news but some not so good. I know I’m old, I know the body wears, but I’m tired and I’m fed up. I want some ‘down time’. I’m ready to look forward with optimism and hope.
