My thoughts today I believe have come about from all the television I have been watching. Well, that’s certainly part of it but the other part is that I am not doing too much. My calendar is not very full and that’s mostly because I don’t know from day to day how I will be feeling. Nonetheless and for whatever reason, I have been thinking a lot about why we do what do, how we do what we do and how we are perceived in what we do, by ourselves and by others.
So as I mentioned, a lot of this thinking comes from the amount of television I have been watching. I think it’s important to mention that we watch regular cable television a good part of the time, not streaming services or special shows. Even throughout all my treatment and laying around, I stil found lots to watch on regular television. Add that to the fact that I really can’t be bothered looking through catalogues for other things to watch- it just doesn’t seem to matter that much to me.
Anyway, one of the things I have noticed about regular tv, and as I understand it, people are watching this stuff on streaming services as well, is the amount of competition shows that are shown. There are competitions for cooking, finding a partner, strength and body performance, home renovations, trivia and knowledge and so much more; there is just no end to what we have found to create a contest for. So many of these seem to be cutthroat, win at any cost and do just about anything to come out on top. Many of the shows are about things that used to be hobbies, fun pasttimes, social activities that we participated in for fun, for widening our interests and getting together with other people. Now they are just another way to show that you are better than others and is that what is most important?
One of the most exhilarating things I ever did was take up running. I didn’t set out to be a runner but at the beginning of the month of my fifty-fifth birthday, my marriage ended. Even though I had a job I loved and a family that I loved to spend time with, I was feeling at a little bit of a loss. I read a newspaper article about two women who, in their fifties, did a triathlon. It was a small triathlon, a 350 meter swim, a 10 kilometre bike ride and a 1.5 kilometre run. It inspired me so much that I promised myself I was going to do this. At that time, I was, as I mentioned, fifty five years old, I was overweight, a smoker and had never run further than, well, not really at all. I began training by walking from one streetlight post to the next, running to the next, walking to the next and so on. I practiced swimming in the public pool and a little bit in the lake and figured that I could ride a bike and would be all right for the bike ride. I did quit smoking as running and smoking just didn’t go together at all. I did participate in the event that year, coming 423rd out 423. What I found fascinating is that I didn’t care at all that I was last, I only cared that I finished. It was so exciting and good for me. I went on to do ten of these, one a year, with a group that raised funds for our shelter and I had good years and bad years in my finishing times. One of the good things that came out of it was that I was running quite a bit. I used to tell people that I didn’t really like running but I loved the feeling that I had when I completed a run or a race. The most exciting thing for me was that it just didn’t matter if anybody or everybody for that matter beat me, I just felt good doing it. One of the hardest things about getting old(er) and having cancer, arthritis and so many other things is that I so wanted to participate in one more race, a small 5 km. I didn’t care if I ran or walked, I just wanted one more. I fear that isn’t going to happen. Make note that I didn’t say it isn’t going to happen, I said I’m afraid it might not. Never say never.
Anyway, it wasn’t winning that was important. It was getting out there, participating, knowing I was stretching myself, trying new things and growing. Isn’t that what it’s about? I don’t believe that the most important thing is beating everyone else, being what you consider better than everyone else. I truly think that all of these contests contribute to people believing that they are better than others and looking down on those they don’t consider as good as themselves. We have created a new social class system that is based on our perceptions of what is important and valued.
I won’t pretend that I don’t watch any of these shows. I do watch some, particularly trivia games as it is a good opportunity to test myself. I’ve always been a student and love to learn and even liked homework and taking tests(I know it’s weird, it just is what it is). Watching them is like taking another test. I don’t watch too many others as they just spend so much time putting down the other contestants and insulting each other.
I like to think that we can do better; that we can be better.
Maybe part of my own solution to these feelings is to make sure I don’t watch the ones that I find mean and petty. It won’t make a big difference in the big scheme of things but it will for me. So instead I am going to go on my own learning journey. I’m not yet feeling well enough to do many of the things I would like to do (more about that another time), but I know there are lots of things I can do.
These are good things to look forward to – stay tuned!
