Every day is something new and different than the day before. Just when I think I have a pattern figured out, things change.
This part is an update on what is happening with my hair. I officially don’t have any hair from my neck down anymore. I must say that I don’t miss shaving my underarms or legs. I also have lost most of my eyelashes and some of my eyebrows. Because I googled several things about breast cancer, my Facebook now has many ads and articles about cancer. The latest one is an ad for a mascara for chemo patients. A mascara for chemo patients? Where do I put it? On the two lashes on my left eye or the five or six on my right eye? What am I missing here? The hair on my head is growing. No, I don’t mean it’s growing back. I mean the random hairs that are on various parts of my head are growing. It looks very sstrange. Vic checks it out every day and gives me a kiss on my bald head. I have a new habit and I don’t know why it is what it is. Every time I scratch my head, it is a surprise that I am scratching skin and not hair. Each time I say lously, “oh my gosh, I have no hair”. Vic responds with “what, where did it go?”. It may sound silly to some but it has become funny to us.
Here’s the same but different!
I started my second half of chemo with the new drug. The first difference in the administration of the drug is that it takes much longer. With the first round of four sessions, they lasted approximately an hour to an hour and a half each. These sessions are four to five hours each time. It’s a long time to be there and I am so appreciative of Vic’s company. Well, having said that, I wasn’t great company. Turns out they administer Benadryl before the actual chemo drugs to prevent an allergic reaction. It is quite common for people to develop shortness of breath, chest pains, flushing of the face and back pain immediately upon reciving the drug. If this happens, they give you some more Benadryl to quickly alleviate the reaction. Turns out I didn’t have any problem but even the first shot of Benadryl made me sleepy. I hadn’t slept much the night before. I think I was much more nervous than I thought I was and it kept me awake. Anyway, I slept quite a good deal throughout the session.
I foolishly thought that the side effects of this drug were going to be easier to tolerate. Don’t ask me why I thought this, I just did. Maybe it was wishful thinking.
This is what I mean by the same but different. The side effects are not the same as the ones from the first four sessions but they are just as debilitating and painful. I swear that I spent two days where I could feel every bone, every muscle, every joint in my body each time I tried to move. Forty-eight hours after receiving chemo, I was in so much pain and I didn’t know how to describe it because it was everywhere. I spent that day pretty much crying my way through the day. The next day was slightly better but there is no such thing as comfortable. Today is a little better but not much.
On rop of that, I missed picking up my needle AGAIN. It is necessary to receive the needle forty eight hours after chemo that helps to rebuild the immune system that chemo wears down. This means that you order the needle at the pharmacy at the cancer centre as you go in to your sesssion. It cannot be picked up at that time as it must be refrigerated until used. This means you are supposed to remember to pick it up on your way out. Well, I was dopey, just wanted to go home and thinking only of that when I left. On Sunday (the day to receive my shot), we got ready, went to the car and I suddenly realized I didn’t have my needle. After several phone calls I was assured that receiving it on Monday would be acceptable and so we picked it up Monday morning and I got it on Monday. As I say, this is my second time to do this.
I didn’t realize how much I would need a day timer when I was retired but for sure the only way I keep all the appointments is to make copious notes. I keep saying that it is important to remember to pick up the needle, make the appointment at the clinic to receive the shot, make the appointment at the clinic to redress the picc line weekly and then get to that appointment. All this is done through “chemo fog”. I think it’s a very real thing and if it isn’t, it’s my story and I’m sticking to it
We counted today and in eight days I will have my sixth chemo session that means we are seventy five per cent there. That’s good news and will carry me through the next three sessions.
