I know that it seems kind of weird for an almost seventy-three year old woman to be talking about boobs.
In fact, I must say that I’ve not done a lot of thinking about them over the years. I was raised in a fairly conservative family so we certainly didn’t do a lot of talking about them either. Please keep in mind that everything that follows are just my personal musings about boobs as they’ve become such a focal point of this whole journey.
I was not an early bloomer and I think a lot of that was due to the fact that I was very small as a kid. I excelled in school, mostly because I loved it, and that meant that I was advanced a couple of times – back then we called it skipping grades. It also meant that my first day of high school was my thirteenth birthday. Back then, not everyone passed every grade automatically so there were always kids in your class that had failed a couple of times. In my grade nine class, there were a several boys who were seventeen or eighteen. I was hugely intimidated by them and certainly didn’t fit in socially with all the kids being older than I was. I dressed conservatively back then but I think we all did, it was just the times. This was the sixties so we went to school in sweater sets, reversible skirts, nylons and garter belts. I don’t remember this much but when I look at sixties movies now, I notice that the bras made your boobs look very pointy so I assume ours were as well.
I can’t believe that I am saying this but I didn’t even think of my boobs as part of my sexuality until I was over forty years old. By then, I had been married for twenty years, had three children, nursed two of them but I was still just about as innocent as I was at sixteen. That says a whole lot about the twenty five years we spent together, but that’s a story for another time. Being single was such a shock that I didn’t even think about sex let alone know what to do about it. With the help of a good friend, I was reintroduced to the dating world and OMG, found out that there was a whole lot of fun to be had! I can’t say that it made me think any more about my breasts than I ever had but I discovered a whole new world. Even after I married again, I didn’t consider my boobs as much of a part of my sexuality. That didn’t last long and isn’t even worth talking about.
Then I met the man I’m married to now. He likes boobs and in his words (wise man), he particularly likes my boobs. In the ten plus years, we have been together, he has made me feel more loved and wanted than I have ever felt in my life. I have been surprised and amazed as to how it affected my confidence as a woman. I’m sure that almost all of the people who know me would say that I am a very confident person and I am in some aspects of life. BUT it took this man to give me the confidence that I am a woman who is wanted. I don’t think I can ever properly thank him for that. Thanks honey.
Now if you look at the picture at the top of this story, it is probably a history of my boobs over my life. All women know what I’m talking about. You start out with hardly anything, then grow into what you think your figure will be forever. And you think that they will be just that perky forever. When you have children, there is usually a big change, they often get much larger, they lose a great deal of that perkiness. The older you get, the droopier they get until you’re not sure that you want to look at them at all (again, thank you hon, for making me feel good). Naturally, this has caused me great concern at the possibility of losing my boob(s) but he has assured me there are lots of other parts he likes as well.
Well, nobody warned me about the things that would happen to my boobs when I got breast cancer. Now, I didn’t discover my cancer by finding a lump; I found out that it was cancer because there was so much pain and tenderness in my left one. It was after the diagnosis, many mammograms, ultrasound and biopsy that the new changes happened. I had so many shooting, almost electrical pains throughout my breast that it was scary. My oncologist and surgeon assured me this is common, the tumor pulls on the ligaments and causes it. Well, not only did it hurt, it changed the shape of my breast. It turned into an oblong or a rectangle if you will – I mean seriously! Oblong! Since I have been on the new medication, it is changing back to its normal shape and apparently that’s a good sign.
Who knew? ……………….
