I started writing this just as a way to get some of the thoughts out of my head, thinking that if I put them on paper I could put them away.  It then became habit to sit down every few days and review what was happening and sort out my thoughts and feelings. When I mentioned to someone in conversation that I had been recording my cancer journey they said that I should share as others may be interested and so here we are!

Because my mom had cancer, her mom had cancer and my mom’s sister had cancer, I have always had a nagging fear that my day would come.  Still, when I did get my diagnosis, it was a shock nonetheless.  I have to admit that I was not prepared for any of the feelings that I had, and the many fears – new ones every day.    

I have tried to figure out why I want to share this story with others.  I think perhaps because what I felt and am feeling throughout this whole journey is something that others, whether or not they have had their own cancer experience, may empathize with.  The other reason is that I’m thinking that sharing my thoughts, feelings and experiences will take away some of the ‘aloneness’ of this whole thing.  Even though I have a supportive family, supportive friends and great medical personnel, there is still this huge feeling of being alone in  it all.

Please note that I am not writing this to obtain medical advice, new thoughts and theories of my cancer or information that others think I should know. I feel as if this would be going down ‘that great rabbit hole of Google information’ that my doctors warn me about all the time.  It took some time for me to realize they are so right, it was a dangerous place to be and I spent so much time there in the beginning but learned to stop for sure.

For those of you who have decided to read and share my journey, thank you for your interest and thank you for helping me in building my support system and helping me work on my alone feelings.

CANCER CAN'T STEAL MY SHINE

BYE FOR NOW

I have not written anything for so long and I have to admit that I am just not up for it. I’ve spent some time deciding why that is and have come to the conclusion Read more…

TAG – YOU’RE IT!

It has been a while since I have written anything- it’s been a very busy time. First, Vic has been quite unwell. It’s almost as if our bodies knew that our doctor schedule had calmed Read more…